Bad day + No caffeine for over a month = Don't read this if you're under 18!
It has been a long day to say the least. Ethan decided to play in my q-tips and dump half a new box on the floor and the other half in the toilet along with new pantiliners. I had to stick my bare hand in the toilet and retrieve them. It was sure gross.
A few minutes later I find Ryan trying to pull apart two Lego's stuck together with a sharp knife. I calmly told him that was super dangerous and could cut his finger off, he cried and ran to his room.
My boys decided it would be fun to get straws and blow spit out of them onto the kitchen floor. I told Ryan he had to clean his up...and of course he did not. I forgot about it and slipped on the spit. Yes...I slipped on the spit.
Ethan can't keep his clothes on. I am lucky so far I haven't found poop anywhere. But I have stepped on a few open wet diapers. I am frequently washing my feet around here (maybe I just need to watch where I am walking).
My boys WILL NOT listen to me. I have sent them both to time out today so many times I can not count. So now I'm wondering if I'm sending them to time out because they deserved it, or because I'm having a bad day.
(Hmm, I just got stopped from writing this blog...had to put them in time out again for hitting/fighting).
Ben has been in school since we got married. I know it's a good thing..I want him to go. But I am tired of it. I feel like I'm going to break. He is working full time and going to school at night. He is gone from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m every night. Saturdays we see him for 3 hours because he is doing his study group and doing homework. Sundays we "see" him during church, then he does homework. The boys miss him, I miss him. I can NOT wait for next April to come. I feel pretty lonely most of the time. He calls and says, "How are you?". I say, "Fine". Just like I do every other day because I can't say how I really feel otherwise that puts more stress on him. Now don't get me wrong, I sure wouldn't want to be doing what he is doing, but since I can't talk to him about it...I'll blog about it. Maybe I'll feel a little better. I also know other people have it worse than I do and I should shut it...but again, I'm venting.
Maybe this is a bad time but onto Relief Society. I think the core of Relief Society is good, but the people in it...not so much. (I am not ranting about my ward, this goes for all wards I've been to). STOP BEING FAKE. Seriously, don't be my "fake church friend". If you like me, then talk to me. Don't visit teach me for the number (i.e. call the last two days before the month ends). We need to be real. It's not about religion anymore. It's about socializing. Why do we emphasise so much on families but then plan so many dang activities we can't be with our families. For example: I am on the committee this Saturday to help with the General Relief Society Broadcast. I have to be at the Stake Center at 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. That is 6 hours people. The religious part of those 6 hours? 1.5 hours. Why can't we be like them men and ONLY go for the religious part. You know, the part that matters. So instead of seeing my family I get to chop food in the kitchen for people who are my fake friends. (Don't get me wrong, I have friends I still talk to from past wards...if I talk to you...we are obviously not fake friends...this is not about you). It's not just this example though. I'm sure most of you have some sort of calling experience that we are away from our family for non-religious things. I go to church for religion not for socializing. Everyone (including me) needs to stop being so judgemental and be friends with everyone, whether you are LDS or not, whether you wear the right clothes or not, whether you say an occasional swear word or not. It just doesn't matter.
(Okay I am off my soap box now. I may regret this post and delete it at a later time, but for now...it stays).
11 comments:
I have always told Ash I think you are a total stud for going through all these school years as an almost-single mom. I guess I should be telling you!!! I think you are amazing, and your sincerity is one of my favorite characteristics. Let's get together and take the kids to the splash park before it gets too cold!
I left you a comment and then deleted it. I am not as brave as you and better keep some of my comments to myself. I will say that I totally agree with you.
As for the school stuff, I think that you are amazing for putting up with it for as long as you have. It is hard. You are getting closer to the end. Good luck!
I hope your Tuesday is better than your Monday.
I don't need to say anything other than I TOTALLY agree with you!!:) That is hard about the school thing! Lance hasn't even finished school yet because he goes and then takes time off and then goes and then takes time off (you can see where this is going)!! On the positive side you have an end coming and then hopefully you will look back and think it was all worth it:) I will get you that number I just need to find it:)
Okay, I second the friend thing and I appreciate your honesty. I completely agree and I will add that it is incredible hard being young and striving for our future and sacrificing for something that we hope with work out, hope is the key word. Woo, it does feel good to vent, lol.
Hey-so I finally added your blog to my list! (With help from a threatening phone call from Leslie-I honestly just kept forgetting to add it.) BUT-I can totally feel for you on this. Alex has been home a total of 2 weeks this summer/fall because he's been traveling so much. And he was the Young Men's president, which is pretty much the worst. I feel like I never, ever see him and Tessa and I get sooooo sick of each other. I can't imagine having two kids to deal with!! So vent all you want-I do it daily to Alex-at least you are nice enough not to stress your husband out!!
As for church-just stop going. Best advice ever. (I'm kidding, don't tell anyone else I said that.)
I am so blessed to have my hubby home more than it sounds like you do, but he is travelling a LOT recently (he's gone all week again to FL) and I know what you mean about just getting worn down. It's hard doing it without breaks. You are doing great! And I agree about church too - it should be about true charity and religion and friendship. I wish it were much more so than it is. I guess those of us who think that way will just have to try as hard as we can to make a difference however and with whoever we can. I know I feel the same as you, but I've probably messed up and not been the type of sister in the gospel that I should be either. This life sure does get complicated and hard, doesn't it? Should it be? I don't know. Can I vent about in-laws on here too while we're venting?? lol! ;-) Hang in there!
I've got two words that might make your day a little bit easier. DUCT TAPE! Duct tape that diaper on. It worked for us!
Awe Kelly I just loved your post! You think like me! Well I hope things get better for you. Sorry about Saturday that is way to long! Thanks for the entertainment! And it's about time someone called it like it is because u are so right!
You know Kell, I feel the same way about Sam and him going to school. Sam doesn't go as long as Ben, but I still feel like I am single again.. And we're just in the second year.
Kellly - Just wait until you have three kids, it's just three times the trouble! I totally know how you feel. Rion has been hunting a lot lately and somedays are pull my hair out days. Not to mention the drama all day school brings to the mix. Anyway wanted to let you know I'll be to the shower on Fri. Didn't know about it until you left a post so thanks and I'll see you there.
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