Toilet Paper Paper

It has been requested that I put this paper I did a while ago on my blog. Most people did their paper on the war in Iraq and abortion. I opted to do mine on toilet paper. I'm sure the paper is not perfect, so don't judge my writing...it's for enjoyment purposes only.


Over the past 200 years technological advances have enriched many lives and alleviated much of the difficulties that burdened previous generations. Many of these advances facilitate easier lives and more hygienic living. Not the least of these advancements is the production and widespread distribution of hygienic paper also known as toilet paper. Previous generations used many items for this mundane, yet very necessary, task. Eskimos used tundra moss when available in the summer months, and handfuls of snow during the balance of the year. Those living in coastal areas or tropical settings used mussel shells or old coconut shells, those living in the colonial times of America used cobs of corn, or hung paper products in the form of mail order catalogs. In ancient Rome, the popular item was a sponge attached to the end of a stick immersed in salt water. If this were the case today, it’s possible we might take the phrase, “wrong end of the stick” a little more seriously. Many societies in the Eastern parts of the world saw it socially correct to use their left hand. Some theorists believe that this is why most cultures use their right hands when meeting new people. This previous form of hygiene is still transgressed in those cultures today, as they find it rude and socially incorrect to shake the left hand of another. Obviously there has been much progress to speak of in this area.

These advancements came with new hardships one of which is in the form of selection. One in today’s society must make the difficult decision of which toilet paper to purchase. Each brand has several options and each option has several pros and cons. A person must weigh which benefit is better for them; absorption, softness, aloe, quilted, plies, and sheets per roll are all examples of difficult decisions. The old saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” applies in this case. You have to give something up to get another item. There are too many choices for toilet paper. Take a trip down the toilet paper isle and gaze upon the wonderful world of white that has gradually come about over the last 100 years. Choosing between: Charmin, Charmin Ultra, Charmin double, Charmin Triple, Charmin unscented/scented, Quilted Northern, Cottonelle, Angle soft, Soft’n Gentle, Scott, or even Brawni.

It’s safe to say that in today’s world there are a lot more options than a seashell, or an ear of corn but nothing truly compares to that of toilet paper. Its significance to a person’s life frequents more times daily than the toothbrush, hair spray, shower, or dinner table-people too often forget the importance of toilet paper. Whether it is due to the bad wrap that comes with its association with the bathroom and what goes on there, or just the simple fact that we have never had to do without it. This multiple purpose paper provides for people, makes things more convenient for them, and ultimately helps one feel and be clean. Another positive aspect of toilet paper is that it is also very versatile. Outside of its obvious use, many people find that it makes a great substitute for that common problem of an empty Kleenex box. Some find that it is perfect for Halloween costumes, while others use it to decorate certain people’s homes in the middle of the night. Whatever the case may be, toilet paper is always providing a great service.

Since society is lucky enough to have toilet paper, one must make an accurate decision as to which kind to use. Regardless of how gross our associations of toilet paper and the bathroom are, the product itself has made life easier for everyone. Today there are over 5,000 different companies producing bathroom tissue around the world trying to make our lives more convenient, clean and efficient. In a study back in 1997, it was estimated that 71.48 frugal people contribute to the waste of one roll of 1,000 sheet single ply toilet paper everyday.

With that much toilet paper being used and the many choices of the fluffy white stuff a person has, one must really know their toilet paper in order to make proper decision on what to buy. There are few solutions to this problem. First, when a person goes down the toilet paper isle and sees the many selections, there needs to be a sample pack next to the regular packs. The sample pack consists of a variety of brands like Charmin, Quilted Northern, Cottonelle, Angle Soft, Soft’n Gentle, etc. Once that has been taken home and tested, one now knows which brand he or she likes. After the brand is chosen there is another sample pack for example, if someone chooses Charmin, they now need to choose between regular Charmin, Charmin Ultra, Charmin Double, Charmin Triple, or Charmin unscented/scented.

The second solution for choosing toilet paper could simply be a toilet paper tester store. For example, in a store like Home Depot a person can go to the toilet isle and look and all the different toilets they should buy. Another store even has an isle where a person can actually sit on the toilet and see which feels better. Well, it should be the same for toilet paper. There needs to be a store with several private sound proof toilet rooms with many different toilet paper brands and kinds to choose from. That way, in one quick trip to the store a person knows for the rest of his or her life what toilet paper they should buy. If the toilet paper companies come out with new kinds of toilet paper, then one would just have to go back the store and test it out.

And the last solution would be a mail sample pack. Laundry detergent companies give out free samples of their product in many different ways. Cologne and perfume companies give away free samples in catalogs or by the annoying man or women in the department store waiting to spray a person as they walk innocently by. Toilet paper should be the same way. When someone buys a new home, toilet paper companies should have a care package of their brand of toilet paper waiting for the new home owner. Or likewise with new renters, the T.P. companies should give land lords samples to give to tenants. With so many choices out there toilet paper companies need to get their foot in the door and give samples so people will realize how great their paper is over the other product. They will have thousands of dollars of revenue from one person just by giving out a small sample of their T.P. brand.

Toilet paper is produced for people’s hygiene, but is often too oblivious to a person’s own consciousness that it is one of the biggest conveniences in someone’s daily life. After giving a little information on the history and importance of toilet paper, and shown one how T.P. is everyone’s friend and it’s okay to talk about it, people must have a greater appreciation for toilet paper and how lucky people are to have it over using moss or snow. No one should use toilet paper without first trying the many different kinds. Hopefully people enjoy toilet paper and every other small thing that contributes to making one’s life easier and more convenient.